On the road to nowhere

Everyday I go blindly into the world without a care or a clue and I submerge myself into the problems at hand and the work that is presented to me, but today and yesterday, something just occured to me. I always knew it deep down, but I was too busy to realize it and then I had time to think about it when my truck wouldn't start. My life as an individual: I'm in a dead-end job with no room to go up and I tapped out my one and only pay incerease from it. I was forced to work there because my blood relative needed the help. I'm so stressed out that I can't follow my dreams, if I was ever given the propper environment I wouldnt have to worry about college, I would just get in. On top of that, I have no money because shit breaks too often, and I feel like I never have as much money as any of my friends or anyone around me and I'm always spending it. So I come up with great ideas like my new business plan in my head and I could do it all by myself and see a great turn around, but I dont have the capital ro get it started. Because of that, i get frustrated, throw my hands up, and start back at the beginin of this analyzation.

On the personal relationship side of things I seem to be doing much better. I have friends, but that's kind of hit or miss on which ones are my friends that week given the circumstances. For the most part I have a core group that seems somewhat pivitol to me. I also have a girlfriend who I feel sometimes is the glue holding me together. She always makes me feel better, and seems to always know how to say the right things when I need to hear them.

So what's my point? Does money make you happy? Who knows. I don't know if I could by more friends or if more stuff would make me feel better. Brit always makes me feel amazing, and you can't buy love like that. Today money would have helped a lot. It would probably have made all last week better and maybe the previous couple of days and fourth coming days. It all just goes back to the fact that I'll never know what I want and keep fucking up my own life and dreams. Whatever. It's time to do some homework.