I let you down

I let you down,
And as your head spun round,
I was no where to be found,
I'm sorry, I failed.

Away in the big city,
Where you think those streets are pretty,
I can't get to your location that quickly,
I'm sorry for letting you down.

My heart cries,
It's matching the tears in my eyes,
Can anyone see that I'll die?
If I can't have you I'll cease to be.



I thought I had everything worked out... when did things get so messed up? I keep crying whenever I get a free minute because I cant cry in front of other people. Idk why, I just can't. =( I thought I could do it. I thought I could be there, but in the end I'm here alone. She's out tonight, and I'm glad she's trying to have a good time and not siting here wasting away like I am. I feel like not only do I realize how bad I failed, but I let someone else down and then every once in a while I keep thinking about how much I let that other person down and I jsut want to crawl into a hole and die for hurting her. It's one thing to get my own hopes up and then fail, but to get her hopes up and then let her down is just wrong, and I feel like i do it all the time. I want to be better, but I just keep fucking up and idk how to be better.